Would the righteous still remain?

after all this time, i'm no closer to finding You.

Psalm 119:50

My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

self-conclusion

there are a few things i have to do on my own,

incase you were wondering.

Haec credam a deo pio, a deo justo, a deo scito?

spent

I've set a trap for myself in this role that I play.
I have to get out before it's too late.
I'm going fucking insane.

I need to tend to my own wounds.
I've got a few scars that are splitting again.




I am so weak.
I crave comfort and relief, a friend or a savior.
If I can't have a real God, I know I'll just create one.
so desperate, so stupid, so hopeless, so unsatisfied.




How long, Oh Lord?
Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?

save farris

I've been praying for a sign.
I keep over analyzing everything.
One dollar bills, youth groups, brochures, absence, flickering lights, underlined words, lyrics, shapes, dreams, friendships.
postcards?

God, I am so selfish to keep asking. I hope you aren't getting tired. I keep getting little things that make me think you are trying to find me. Am I not trying hard enough to find you?

It is so stupid, but the message on this postsecret hit me.
Then I noticed my name.

God, do you exist? Are you trying to send me a sign?
I know you can't storm down here and part a sea. You can't send your son again just to prove yourself to me. How far will you go to get my attention? How important am I?

I feel like a stupid little girl whenever I talk about you.
I feel like time is running out. Send me something or someone soon.

Please, God, fix this.
It's been too long.

I am disgusted by my disbelief.
I am disgusted that I feel You should be worrying about me.
There is so much work to be done, God.
I'm sorry.


why are you scared to dream of God
when it's salvation that you want?

God, where have you been?

i wish i could talk about religion with people, face to face, but i don't have the courage. i just want someone to talk to me.

i find my lack of faith disgusting, but it is not a disease.
'Father, where have you been?'

it's been three years.
'Child, where have you been?'

reach out.
those lions are coming.
















they should deliver all my blessings
in small brown paper handbags near the porch
i wished i'd known that you were bleeding
while i sat and watched you reading with the Lord
-where have you been?;; manchester orchestra

I dare not linger

"There is a loftier ambition than merely to stand high in the world.
It is to stoop down and lift mankind a little higher."


This is a promise to myself, from here on out, not to take anything I haven't worked for.

There is a yearning desire inside of me to be recognized. A monster that likes to growl about what I 'deserve' - when the truth is, I haven't earned any greatness. I must conquer this if I ever expect myself to do God's work. I cannot possibly be a servant to my brothers and sisters if I want to be "someone." I am thankful for all of the times I've been shot down, a little blow to my ego helps me to find my center once again. As strange as it sounds, a bit of failure is a good thing for me. I don't want to ever feel entitled or too successful.

I want to be someone great, I think secretly, everyone does - but what I want more than that is to earn it. I can't imagine it any other way.

Dona nobis pacem

i could hear the church bells ringing
they pealed aloud your praise
the members faces were smiling
with their hands out stretched to shake
it's true they did not move me
my heart was hard and tired
their perfect fire annoyed me
i could not find you anywhere


could someone please tell me the story
of sinners ransomed from the fall
i still have never seen you
and some days i don't love you at all

the devoted were wearing bracelets
to remind them why they came
some concrete motivation
when the abstract could not do the same
but if all that's left is duty i'm falling on my sword
at least then i would not serve an unseen distant lord

if this is ony a test
i hope that i'm passing
cause i'm losing steam
and i still want to trust you

peace be still