He is able

'God is able to deliver us from this blazing, fiery furnace.'

i am so half-hearted in my attempts to seek him.
if i ever find him, i will hold on.
i won't ever slip again.

no one will shake me.

i don't think I'll ever be able to understand the concept of love or friendship because my view is so one sided. do i give because i fear there's no other use for me? or do i not let others in because I'm afraid of what they'll discover? i can't imagine why i should be any one's priority.


I've forgotten what it's like to be close.
i don't want to fuck anything else up.
i just don't want to be alone.

by faith

Romans 1:17
"The righteous will live by faith."

will You call me Your daughter?
will You turn me away?

Would the righteous still remain?

after all this time, i'm no closer to finding You.

Psalm 119:50

My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.

self-conclusion

there are a few things i have to do on my own,

incase you were wondering.

Haec credam a deo pio, a deo justo, a deo scito?

spent

I've set a trap for myself in this role that I play.
I have to get out before it's too late.
I'm going fucking insane.

I need to tend to my own wounds.
I've got a few scars that are splitting again.




I am so weak.
I crave comfort and relief, a friend or a savior.
If I can't have a real God, I know I'll just create one.
so desperate, so stupid, so hopeless, so unsatisfied.




How long, Oh Lord?
Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?

save farris

I've been praying for a sign.
I keep over analyzing everything.
One dollar bills, youth groups, brochures, absence, flickering lights, underlined words, lyrics, shapes, dreams, friendships.
postcards?

God, I am so selfish to keep asking. I hope you aren't getting tired. I keep getting little things that make me think you are trying to find me. Am I not trying hard enough to find you?

It is so stupid, but the message on this postsecret hit me.
Then I noticed my name.

God, do you exist? Are you trying to send me a sign?
I know you can't storm down here and part a sea. You can't send your son again just to prove yourself to me. How far will you go to get my attention? How important am I?

I feel like a stupid little girl whenever I talk about you.
I feel like time is running out. Send me something or someone soon.

Please, God, fix this.
It's been too long.

I am disgusted by my disbelief.
I am disgusted that I feel You should be worrying about me.
There is so much work to be done, God.
I'm sorry.


why are you scared to dream of God
when it's salvation that you want?