I dare not linger

"There is a loftier ambition than merely to stand high in the world.
It is to stoop down and lift mankind a little higher."


This is a promise to myself, from here on out, not to take anything I haven't worked for.

There is a yearning desire inside of me to be recognized. A monster that likes to growl about what I 'deserve' - when the truth is, I haven't earned any greatness. I must conquer this if I ever expect myself to do God's work. I cannot possibly be a servant to my brothers and sisters if I want to be "someone." I am thankful for all of the times I've been shot down, a little blow to my ego helps me to find my center once again. As strange as it sounds, a bit of failure is a good thing for me. I don't want to ever feel entitled or too successful.

I want to be someone great, I think secretly, everyone does - but what I want more than that is to earn it. I can't imagine it any other way.

Dona nobis pacem

i could hear the church bells ringing
they pealed aloud your praise
the members faces were smiling
with their hands out stretched to shake
it's true they did not move me
my heart was hard and tired
their perfect fire annoyed me
i could not find you anywhere


could someone please tell me the story
of sinners ransomed from the fall
i still have never seen you
and some days i don't love you at all

the devoted were wearing bracelets
to remind them why they came
some concrete motivation
when the abstract could not do the same
but if all that's left is duty i'm falling on my sword
at least then i would not serve an unseen distant lord

if this is ony a test
i hope that i'm passing
cause i'm losing steam
and i still want to trust you

peace be still